3 fun exercises to woo your wife

couple-1696765_1920Here’s how to create emotional magnetism between you and your wife.

A huge emotional need, most women have, is to feel secure in their marriage.

Warning! This security is not simply a bank account or a roof over her head.

Many years ago, my wife Elaine had feeling secure as her number one emotional need.

I did not understand at the time how to help her cope with this issue in our marriage.


As I learned what she needed I applied to our marriage and have since taught it to many other husbands to the delight of their wives.

As we have worked with couples through the years, this deep seated emotional need has surfaced many times as a delicate trigger at their most intense level. The more you help your wife feel secure, the more irresistible you are in her eyes. That’s how you want her to see you, as the most appealing man in the world, right?  Today I am giving you a few places to start creating that magnetic environment in your home.

 So practice these easy exercises and watch her melt in your arms more often:  

 1 – Really listen to her as she needs you to listen.

Your wife is a woman so her female receptors are wired different than yours.  She needs for you to sit with her, totally focused on her words and soak in her message.

Caution here:  Your wife is wanting to share her heart. This is not so you can fix her issues. If you will bite your tongue and simply hear her thoughts, you will see that you are miles ahead of every other husband in this department.

A second caution is to not listen with a ready answer for her. She does not need you to generate a “to-do” list. This beautiful woman wants to invite you into her heart. If you can remember your dating days, you might recall sitting alone and just discussing life. She might mention some curious thing or fifteen various things, that happened to her that day and you sat there just enjoying how words flowed out of her beautiful lips.  Take time to revisit those warm moments where two became one emotionally. Your wife longs for those comforting times all through your marriage.

Make up your mind to take the initiative to create that warm comfortable environment all over again for her. Perhaps you can get away from the house and go out together to a coffee house. Perhaps make her some tea and just sit and discuss her day. Ask her to share with you something specific that happened which really made her day.

A warning here is to turn off your cell when you two are in this environment. Be very courteous to her. If you do this on a regular basis, the benefits will far outweigh the effort!

2 – Tell her many times each day that you love her.

Woman never get tired of hearing this from their loved ones and especially from you. Actually it is a connecting point for them. You do want to deeply connect with your wife, right? Great! Then tell her often that you love her.

Take a moment and think about yesterday. I mean right now take a few moments and go back through yesterday in your mind. How many times did you actually tell your wife you loved her?  I mean literally think about your day. Was it only at those typical times such as when you left the house or when you came back? Well then make this day different and for the rest of your marriage make this a new habit. Tell your wife often that you love her.

At the earliest possible moment today, just give her a hug in the kitchen and whisper in her ear, “I love you!”. If this is a bit unusual for you and she asks what that was for, tell her, “Just so you would know!”

Think with me a moment. If your wife’s inner core were a battery that needed to be constantly recharged by your words, “I love you.” you would do that wouldn’t you?  In essence these words do for her. You are the supercharger she craves to keep her emotional battery charged. Try this for a week. Find a way to tell her seven more times than usual  that you love her. Watch her reaction to your striking words. And enjoy the fringe benefits!

3 – Women cherish the words “You are beautiful!” and since you are the closest person to your wife’s heart, tell her often what you find amazing about her beauty.

Take some time to give her self-image a genuine increase.

Your wife needs to be desirable in your eyes so tell her about some part of her life that is stunning to you.

Try to avoid making sexual references here. If you are a “breast man” and you compliment those assets often, then here is a time to emphasize another physical part of her body.

Look for some part of her appearance you find appealing.

  • Do you like how she styles her hair? Compliment her on that.
  • What clothes does she have you find especially appealing? Let her know in as exact detail as possible.
  • Tell her something like, “That dress really makes you look marvelous.” Is she very tasteful in the way she wears makeup? Tell her!
  • Look for some particular areas of her that you find attractive and let her know she shines for you in those ways.

As her husband, you are the single most important voice she hears.

This voice used to be her parents but that lovely sound ware replaced by you.

You have her heart now so use this information in a way that pleases her and builds her up.

Keep finding at least one new way to compliment your wife on her appearance over the next three weeks. It does not even need to be an actual article on her.

You can even stop her when you two are walking together and just look at her and say, “You really look great tonight!”

My point for you is to find some new ways to “make her day” with a sincere compliment about her looks.

Keep reading each week to find additional methods to show pure love to your wife.

She longs for you to have a romantic longing for her.

Do whatever it takes to become irresistible to each other!

If you liked this post, you will absolutely love this course I have created. Most of the lessons are here and the rest will be posted within the next 2 weeks by March 3rd, 2017!

(I have them written, However,  I am putting the finishing touches on these lessons. You will be emailed as they are loaded onto the site!)


Always Look For The Best In Your Marriage! 

--  Jerry Stumpf your Marriage Coach



Jerry is a marriage relationship expert, public speaker, author of several books, blogger, certified marriage coach and marriage mentor. Jerry & Elaine host educational, actionable, & interactive marriage seminars which equip attendees with many "tools" which captivate each other in deeper conversations. Jerry has been married forty three years to the same beautiful woman. They have three children and seven grandchildren. Their greatest passion is assisting married couples to unlock each other's heart through open transparent communication, with their gentle interactive guidance.

Posted in Communication, Encouraging your spouse's self Esteem