3 Pleasurable Secrets to provide security & become irresistible to your wife

img_2550Ladies desire this feeling of security in their marriage.

A huge need most women have is to feel secure in their marriage.

My wife, Elaine, had this as her number one emotional need when we were first married.

I did not understand at the time how to help her cope with this issue in our marriage.

As I learned what she needed I applied to our marriage and have since taught it to many other husbands to the delight of their wives.

As we worked with couples through the years, this primary emotional need surfaces many times as a delicate trigger at their most intense emotional level.

When you help your wife feel secure in your relationship, the more irresistible you become in her eyes.

That’s how you want her to see you, as the most appealing man in the world, right?

Here’s how to create an emotional magnetism between you and your wife.

Here are 3 places to start creating that magnetic environment in your home.

 A wise husband will practice these easy exercises and experience her melting in his arms more often:  


 1 – Really listen to her as she needs you to listen.

As a woman, her female receptors are wired different than yours.

She needs for you to sit with her, totally focused on her words and soak in her message.

Caution here:  Your wife is wanting to share her heart.

This is not so you can fix her issues.

If you will bite your tongue and simply hear her thoughts, you will see you are miles ahead of every other husband in this department.

A second caution is to not listen with a ready answer for her.

She does not need you to generate a “to-do” list.

This beautiful woman wants to invite you into her heart. If you can remember your dating days, you might recall sitting alone and just discussing life.

She might mention some curious thing or fifteen various things, that happened to her that day and you sat there just enjoying how words flowed out of her beautiful lips.

Take time to revisit those warm moments where two became one emotionally. Your wife longs for those comforting times all through your marriage.

Make up your mind to take the initiative to create that warm comfortable environment all over again for her.

Perhaps you can get away from the house and go out together to a coffee house. Perhaps make her some tea and just sit and discuss her day. Ask her to share with you something specific that happened which really made her day.

A warning here is to turn off your cell when you two are in this environment. Be very courteous to her. If you do this on a regular basis, the benefits will far outweigh the effort!

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2 – Tell her many times each day that you love her.

Woman never get tired of hearing this from their loved ones and especially from you.

Actually it is a connecting point for them.

You do want to deeply connect with your wife, right?

Great! Then tell her often that you love her.

Take a moment and think about yesterday. I mean right now take a few moments and go back through yesterday in your mind.

How many times did you actually tell your wife you loved her?  I mean literally think about your day.

Was it only at those typical times such as when you left the house or when you came back?

Well then make this day different and for the rest of your marriage make this a new habit.

Tell your wife often that you love her. Those are magical words to her ears

At the earliest possible moment today, just give her a hug in the kitchen and whisper in her ear, “I love you!”.

If this is a bit unusual for you and she asks what that was for, tell her, “Just so you would know!”

Think with me a moment. If your wife’s inner core were a battery that needed to be constantly recharged by your words, “I love you.” you would do that wouldn’t you?

In essence these words do for her.

You are the supercharger she craves to keep her emotional battery charged.

Try this for a week. Find a way to tell her seven more times than usual  that you love her.

Watch her reaction to your striking words. And enjoy the fringe benefits!

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3 – Women want to feel beautiful and you are the closest person to your wife’s heart.

Take some time to give her self-image a genuine increase.

Your wife needs to be desirable in your eyes,  so honestly compliment her concerning her life that is stunning to you.

Try to avoid making sexual references here. If you are a “breast man” and you compliment those assets often, then here is an opportunity to emphasize another physical part of her body.

Look for some part of her that you find appealing.

Do you like how she styles her hair? Compliment her on that.

What clothes does she have you find especially appealing? Let her know in as exact detail as possible.

Tell her something like, “That dress really makes you look marvelous.” Is she very tasteful in the way she wears makeup? Tell her!

Look for some particular areas of her that you find attractive and let her know she shines for you in those ways.

As her husband, you are the single most important voice she hears.

This voice used to be her parents but that lovely sound ware replaced by you.

You have her heart now so use this information in a way that pleases her and builds her up.

Keep finding at least one new way to compliment your wife on her appearance over the next three weeks. It does not even need to be an actual article on her.

You can even stop her when you two are walking together and just look at her and say, “You really look great tonight!”

My point for you is to find some new ways to “make her day” with a sincere compliment about her looks.

Keep reading each week to find additional methods to show pure love to your wife.

She longs for you to have a romantic longing for her.

Do whatever it takes to become irresistible to each other!

Always Look For The Best In Your Marriage! 

—  Jerry Stumpf your Marriage Coach

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Jerry is a marriage relationship expert, public speaker, author of several books, blogger, certified marriage coach and marriage mentor. Jerry & Elaine host educational, actionable, & interactive marriage seminars which equip attendees with many "tools" which captivate each other in deeper conversations. Jerry has been married forty three years to the same beautiful woman. They have three children and seven grandchildren. Their greatest passion is assisting married couples to unlock each other's heart through open transparent communication, with their gentle interactive guidance.

Posted in Encouraging your spouse's self Esteem, Trust
  • libl

    This is so true. I hate when I want to just discuss things, talk about my dreams and difficulties, etc, and hubby takes it as another “b**ch session,” or turns it around and makes it about him. He hardly knows me and my deepest thoughts.

    He does say he loves me a lot, which is nice.

    As for compliments, I get a lot of sexual ones with groping. I would love to get other kinds of compliments. And I wish he would stop complimenting other women so much. I don’t mean polite company complimenting, but there is no need to point out how sexy an actress looks in that negligee in the movie.

    So, it is a challenge to feel secure and safe. I have no one with whom to discuss my deep thoughts with. This leaves me feeling lost and alone. And I do not feel secure in our fidelity when other women receive compliments I long for. I don’t feel like his “forsaking all others.” I feel like head wife in the harem of his mind.

    • Libl, thanks for your comments!

      Did you print out this post and leave it where he can read it? It may spark some open conversations for you two?

      It is good that he compliments you, he just needs a nudge in the right direction.

      How often do you compliment him as he understands encouragement compliments. He knows you love him, does he know you like him?

      After you give him a lot of compliments which he understands, perhaps you two can discuss what type of sincere compliments you want.

      You might ask him, “Honey, what sort of compliments really ring your bell?” Of course he will refer to some sexual, but keep at it to dig a little deeper.

      I am working on a new free eBook on titled “10 enchanting questions to work on marriage communication problems” which will appear on the front page of the blog.

      Be sure you sign up for our wives newsletter above with your name and email address where I share some specific techniques to help.