5 easy ways to improve your marriage

hugging-1444Creating a vibrant marriage is simple yet not so easy.

Simple because you can probably jot down some of these ideas on your own as life whizzes past you.

What happens with Elaine and me, is  we focus on the urgent needs instead of each others needs.

So I have to remind myself to slow down to concentrate on her.

Take a couple of minutes and look through these ideas and determine how to add them to your busy life!

1 – Spend more time in intentional free flowing conversation   

What I mean by “intentional”, is to have some specific thoughts to stimulate your discussions.

Try to make them easy going. And if you two don’t get to each item on your list and you have a wonderful evening together, GREAT!

I am encouraging whichever partner is reading this post to take the initiative and carve out the special time for reflection on your marriage.

What does it take for you two to just talk with each other with your phones and electronic devices switched off?

It is hard to have a relaxed conversation when one of you is being distracted by a text.

Spend some focused talk about marriage issues or struggles you each see within your marriage where the marriage bond can become stronger.

If you would like some questions, shoot me an email and ask me for some help. Several husbands have started a dialogue with me about some personal problems they are having.

2- Have a specific amount of sexual intimacy per week

Talk with each other to mutually decide what each partner needs in your unique bond.

You should be enjoying the intimate privilege of being married with each other.

If you have been married for a while, the sex life gets postponed or completely on hold very often while everything else takes precedence at life speed.  For husbands, help your wife become more prepared for sex by focusing on her style of romance, foreplay and relaxing.

For instance, husbands be sure you hold her hands when you are out together.

Open the door for her. Slide her coat off and then pull her chair out for her to sit down at the restaurant.

Get her some flowers ahead of time and have them arranged in a vase at home.

If she is at home first, present her with the flowers.

For wives, spend time on initiating sex more often. (Keep reading for some help)

Don’t dismay, if you are not the regular initiator, find creative methods to instigate your feelings of physical intimacy in a demure fashion.

Since he cannot read your mind, be subtle yet forthright in your “nudges”!

Here’s what I mean:

Text your husband a provocative or revealing thought.

Tell how you want him to disrobe you slowly.

Ask him to prepare a bubble bath so you can get in the mood.

Or the ultimate – encourage him to do the kitchen clean-up, complete with the dishes while you “get your body ready to enjoy his hands moving all over you!”

Watch how clean that room becomes.

Just imagine what it would be like to have your husband do some chores or tasks for you with no strings attached, because he wants to serve you?

Yet we both know that he wants more sex, but he does not always understand how to get you there or perhaps he does not know how to specifically ask you for sex.

3 – If you need some extra insights for your relationship, take the initiative and arrange for a coach

Hey it’s OK to ask for a little help to build the very best marriage possible. We sought professional help on occasion.

We are in a situation now to help other couples build a more dynamic and stress free relationship.

Elaine & I provide private couple’s coaching that specializes in all areas for your relationship: communication, finances, child issues, ??? for you.

This process is designed for your marriage.

As an opening step, talk with each other and look for a few possible “hot-spots” that your marriage could use some enrichment.

Keep in mind that it is your marriage to be coached.  This is not a series of sessions where Elaine & I target one or the other of you and point fingers at your behavior.

Rather it is an experienced and educated couple who cares for you, who will lovingly generate suggestions to improve your relationship based upon your unique requirements.

Think of us as friends being brought along side to assist you both.

The sessions are as if we are sitting around our dining room table just chatting with each other.

Our aim is to encourage in whatever areas you need our guidance.

Take a few seconds and shoot us an email at Jerry@jerrystumpf.com and share two or three areas you want to improve in your marriage.

4 – Enjoy having fun together

If your life has become routine or stagnant, inject some zing into your life.

Be sure you are creating memories to draw from throughout your life.

If you have previous wonderful experiences, you know what I am referring to.

Perhaps reminisce a bit and discuss the high points from your marriage so far.

Discuss just what has been the most fun times you can each remember.

Notice the patterns which emerge. How can you relive some of those moments?

What new experiences could you see for yourselves in the next few years?

5 – Focus on the future and do not harp on the past 

What is behind you  –  –  – is just that – behind you.

So as a couple, look into the future with excitement and love.

Reflect on how you want to shape your future together through a series of reflective questions to ask each other to form a solid platform moving forward.

Here are a few to get you started:

a. Where would our favorite places be, for the next five years worth of vacations?

b. What kind of a home would we really like to own some day?

c. (This question is for those without kids) So what will change for us when we have our first child?

d. Someday I would really like to … (This open ended question is a good one to list several times on a sheet of paper and share many times with each other about any number of topics – vacations, places or styles to incorporate in your sexual life, what types of exotic life stretching experiences you would like to accomplish, etc.)

Practice these five simple concepts to enhance your marriage.

It matters little which partner reads and begins to apply these principals.

The key is to start. Start today to improve the marriage bond you committed to at the altar before your friends and relatives.

Do me a favor and share this article with some of your friends!

                                  Thank you.  

Always Expect The Best For Your Marriage as

         The Best Is Yet To Be!!! — Jerry Stumpf 

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Jerry is a marriage relationship expert, public speaker, author of several books, blogger, certified marriage coach and marriage mentor. Jerry & Elaine host educational, actionable, & interactive marriage seminars which equip attendees with many "tools" which captivate each other in deeper conversations. Jerry has been married forty three years to the same beautiful woman. They have three children and seven grandchildren. Their greatest passion is assisting married couples to unlock each other's heart through open transparent communication, with their gentle interactive guidance.

Posted in Marriage, Romance