First ask yourself, “What do we talk about on our date nights or even at home together most of the time?”
OK, got those thoughts etched in your mind? It is surprising how similar so many different married couples are, as it refers to daily interactions which warm their hearts towards each other. Couples who are happy within their marriage share many common traits, some of which are listed below.
Here are five sections for your marriage conversations which will dramatically draw the intimate knot tighter for you two.
1 – Happy couples share personal details with their spouse about embarrassing situations in their life.
That’s right, they aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves. Remember when you were first dating? You became more and more transparent, right? So why clam up now. Be willing to share your life with each other, even the red-faced moments that occur. Couples in our seminars share lots of ideas about their lives and even sometimes about embarrassing ones. You know what this does for them? It knits a more personal atmosphere between the all the folks in the room. Yes, we know we do some silly things, but when you and I become emotionally transparent, other people feel more comfortable. This is especially true in your marriage In your marriage be sure to share what happens in your life away from each other. Watch how much of a bonding experience this conversation provides.
2 – Associated to number 1, they share fears or insecurities which trouble each partner.
When you open yourself to your partner, they move closer in trust to your inner world. So what are your worries? Have you shared these issue with your life-partner? Reverse the concept. How do you feel when your husband/wife shares something important that weighs heavily on their mind? You are drawn closer to them, right? So if you can be open with them, you show how much you trust them. Trust is valued highly by happy couples.
3 – Think about some incident or life experience you might not have covered with your husband or wife before. Happy couples are open to each other.
After Elaine and I were married many years, I told an illustration to a group about how I learned to swim that gave my wife a new insight into my upbringing.
My uncle had a place on the river in Maryland and we spent many great times there with a lot of family members. One particular day when I was about five or six, my dad and big brother were taking the rowboat out and of course I wanted to tag along. As we drifted along as my dad rowed the boat I declared that I wanted to learn how to swim. Both dad and my brother were good swimmers. So My dad said “OK!”, grabbed me by the seat of my swim suit and tossed me in as they rowed away! I sputtered and yelled and paddled as best I could until they returned to help. Actually before they got back I was “swimming” . . . . . . well sort of.
After relating that story to the group, my wife wanted more details and we talked about the “shore” family events many times afterwards. It was a bonding experience and fun to live through good memories together. What stories have been hidden in your heart that might form a stronger bond between you two? Bring them out and relate them to your best friend, to draw closer to each other. Happy couples share their personal lives with each other.
4 – When was the last time you spoke about your childhood? Was it on some early dates? Couples who are closely knit together emotionally, share memories from their past
For so many couples, they start sharing early childhood experiences when they meet someone new and then drift away from this subject without really going in-depth due to fear from our new relationship. Actually, many of the other points I am making here could be uncovered within your adolescent days. This is not some psycho babble. Just honest reflections of your past to let your partner know more about who you are.
Speak about some of the fun activities you enjoyed as a kid. Tell your spouse about some trips you took or even some with your school or group such as scouting or sports.
Going back through childhood memories can be fun and revealing. Of course, if you had a difficult childhood, sharing some details will bond you two closer as you shed back the layers which formed your life.
You may find out new personal interests or areas of pain to help each other heal which in turn draws you closer to each other.
Dream about what it could be like if ….. You could start the conversation like this if you want:
“If time and money were no obstacle, what would you like to be doing?”
“If you could achieve your biggest childhood dream, what would it look like?”
“What would be your three wishes if I could grant them?”
The bottom line is that happy couples do talk to each other openly and on a regular basis. Actually, they would rather spend time together than apart. Intimate conversations bind us to each other. Carve the time from your schedule as soon as possible to invest in some one-on-one time with your sweetie just sharing life together.
You’ll be glad you did!
Always Expect The Best From Your Marriage – as The Best Is Yet To Be!!! Your friend — Jerry Stumpf
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