A pink highlighter and a blue highlighter. (Yes I know an old stereotype!)
He marks the paragraphs or sentences he finds important or has a question about in a blue highlighter.
His wife marks her relevant places in pink highlighter.
This gives a non-threatening method for open discussion which provides the opportunity for the other person to see what is important to the initial reader.
Here’s the great intersection – whenever a section is purple, they both believe that part to be important.
This Purple shows each partner they both believe this one aspect is really important!
This two-highlighter method gives a basis for discovery and communication, especially for the quieter partner.
This more reserved person can open to a highlighted section and say something like, “What are your thoughts about this?”
This opens a dialogue in a possible omitted communication territory for the couple.
It also affords each spouse the opportunity to see inside the other partner in a non-threatening fashion, since “the author” said this!
When using this two-highlighter technique with my wife Elaine early in our marriage, I would open a book to my highlighted part and ask Elaine to read it.
I would watch her reaction and then say something like, “Is that right?” or “Do you (think, or feel, or believe) that way?”
She would comment, and we had a good discussion based on what a third party said.
It was not an assault on either one of us; it opened up some meaningful dialogue.
I became much more informed about how my wife stood on a particular subject through this non-threatening process.
Give it a try! It could become very positive for your marriage.
Always Expect The Best In Your Marriage – The Best Is Yet To Be!!!
PS – While you are here please sign up for our newsletter there to the right of this post!
PS – 2 There are tons of helpful suggestions about communication in our Book Cracking The Marriage Code?
Wives, please login below for our marriage tips newsletter!