A Fun Method to stimulate communication

A technique for joint study of the hard copy for a book involves two different colored highlighters.

A pink highlighter and a blue highlighter. (Yes I know an old stereotype!)

He marks the paragraphs or sentences he finds important or has a question about in a blue highlighter.

His wife marks her relevant places in pink highlighter.

This gives a non-threatening method for open discussion which provides the opportunity for the other person to see what is important to the initial reader.

Here’s the great intersection – whenever a section is purple, they both believe that part to be important.

This Purple shows each partner they both believe this one aspect is really important!

            This two-highlighter method gives a basis for discovery and communication, especially for the quieter partner.

This more reserved person can open to a highlighted section and say something like, “What are your thoughts about this?”

This opens a dialogue in a possible omitted communication territory for the couple.

            It also affords each spouse the opportunity to see inside the other partner in a non-threatening fashion, since “the author” said this!

When using this two-highlighter technique with my wife Elaine early in our marriage, I would open a book to my highlighted part and ask Elaine to read it.

I would watch her reaction and then say something like, “Is that right?” or “Do you (think, or feel, or believe) that way?”

She would comment, and we had a good discussion based on what a third party said.

It was not an assault on either one of us; it opened up some meaningful dialogue.

I became much more informed about how my wife stood on a particular subject through this non-threatening process.

 Give it a try!   It could become very positive for your marriage.

Always Expect The Best In Your Marriage –  The Best Is Yet To Be!!!

Jerry Stumpf

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Jerry is a marriage relationship expert, public speaker, author of several books, blogger, certified marriage coach and marriage mentor. Jerry & Elaine host educational, actionable, & interactive marriage seminars which equip attendees with many "tools" which captivate each other in deeper conversations. Jerry has been married forty three years to the same beautiful woman. They have three children and seven grandchildren. Their greatest passion is assisting married couples to unlock each other's heart through open transparent communication, with their gentle interactive guidance.

Posted in Communication