Boost Your Marriage Intimacy: 5 painless habits to help your wife feel safe in her marriage


Men do you know the most important secrets to your wife’s comfort level? What rocks a woman’s heart is nothing like what influences your inner core. Just yesterday when speaking with a couple, the man had a hard time seeing the wife’s point of view about her feelings of security. It can really shock a husband to learn his wife feels a lack of security in their marriage when he has not done any overt bad actions to cause her to react defensively and they are provided for financially.

 However, to ensure your wife’s most comfortable emotional state, check out these five suggestions and discussion starters to be positive she is as comfortable within your marriage as humanly possible.

 Of course this is natural for the sexes to see the same world in two separate manners. Please allow me to burst a few male “bubbles”. Most women are not as concerned about the financial wellbeing as they are for their individual level of emotional safety between them and their husband. Of course she wants to be financially stable, but her first powerful need is for emotional stability.

Security for a woman often involves feeling completely at peace in the relationship where she fully trusts her husband in every area of their marriage. So if a husband makes lewd remarks about another woman’s body – good or bad – his wife may begin to compare herself to his comments.

 So what can a husband do to help his wife cope with any negative issues she keeps locked up in her heart whether by his remarks or from her past life experiences?

 As a way of disclaimer before I get lots of hate mail, I know that he is not the only one capable of helping her feel good in her own skin. My purpose is to help her feel better about who she is from a human standpoint.

 So consider these few ideas for a husband to assist his wife in feeling her best no matter her body type or upbringing.

 1 – Tell her everyday she is beautiful.

Be sure you give some details. If she has eyes that captivate your imagination, tell her how interesting they are to you. Does she smile in such a fashion that has ripple effects on the entire room

Tell her that piece of insight. Watch to see if your wife ever gets tired of being told how beautiful she is to you!

 2 – Learn to truly listen to her.

I know she might give more details than you do. Just consider that is part of what makes her – her! So do not try to have the quickest answer for her, she needs for you to authentically hear her words.

If she has something important to tell you (important to her), be a gentleman and turn off the TV or game boy and focus all your attention on her words. Want extra points? Ask her when the best time of day is for you to sit with her and just hear how her day went and what you can do to lighten her load.

 3 – Speaking of communication, tell other people how great your wife is at doing so many activities.

Is she good at gardening? How about sewing? How is her cooking? Find several grand characteristics about your bride which you can go overboard in sharing with the world. The benefits will be an enriched relationship between you two. You can’t brag too much about her, trust me.

 4 – Tell her often how irresistible she is to you.

Not simply that you like a certain body part but that you just can’t keep your eyes and hands off her. She is like a magnet for you. You can’t get enough of her. It should not be just for sex either. Focus on her and her needs not your needs. Let her know that you think about her and just enjoy seeing her do anything at all. Let her catch you eying her as she dresses or undresses or as she is cooking or cleaning or??? Tell her some specifics you never get tired of seeing about her. When you first started dating her, how did you feel when she first walked into the room? Tell her that feeling has never gone away. If it has disappeared, wake up and look at her again and again.

 5 – Give her lots of non-sexual attention.


A short list for these include but are not limited to: holding hands, hugs, kissing, rubbing her shoulders, feet and hands, rest your hand on her arm while you drive or sit together.

Women want to be treasured as a person not a sex object where you make occasional deposits. Yes that seems a bit crass but I want to get a point across to you. Your wife wants to feel extra special in your eyes. If you can generate lots of non-sexual touching just because you want to be with her, the sex will become more powerful at fulfilling.

 While you are not responsible entirely, for your wife’s self-image, you can encourage her feelings of comfort and security within your marriage. Why not ask her what else you can do to help her feel more secure together?

 A wholesome relationship with God will greatly benefit any persons self image as they understand the lengths at which He went to ensure a wholesome, healthy self picture for each person, male and female.

 I have pictured a friend of ours as I write these thoughts because he took his marriage for granted and lost some of the zeal they once enjoyed. Certainly this is a natural progression, it doesn’t have to fade into two people who forget why they married in the first place.

 Start today to energize your intimacy by focusing on your wife’s emotional needs. You will be happy for many years to come if you do.

  Do me a favor and share this article with some of your friends!   Thank you.

Always Expect The Best For Your Marriage  as  The Best Is Yet To Be!!!

                           Your Friend  — Jerry Stumpf


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Jerry is a marriage relationship expert, public speaker, author of several books, blogger, certified marriage coach and marriage mentor. Jerry & Elaine host educational, actionable, & interactive marriage seminars which equip attendees with many "tools" which captivate each other in deeper conversations. Jerry has been married forty three years to the same beautiful woman. They have three children and seven grandchildren. Their greatest passion is assisting married couples to unlock each other's heart through open transparent communication, with their gentle interactive guidance.

Posted in Encouraging your spouse's self Esteem, Romance
  • Kendra Burrows

    This is great advice!! Especially in this world with so many women available for viewing, a wife needs to know you find her beautiful, irresistible, and that you still love her. Every day.

    • Jerry Stumpf

      Thanks Kendra for taking the time to leave a comment. Husbands can do so much to encourage his wife’s inner wealth.
      Other topic suggestions from a man’s point of view?

    • Sorry I did not acknowledge your comment before! Thank you for the kind words.
      Don’t know how it slipped by.

  • Lisa M

    These five tips are great. I would add one more. Be certain that your eyes don’t undo all your affirming words. If your eyes linger on other women, your wife notices and it leaves a deep wound.

    • Lisa, I agree. Most men do not understand how damaging it is to their wife if he “looks” a second time. It is impossible to see someone who crosses your path. However, you can look in a different direction or change the channel when”those” ads come on. My wife has thanked me a few times for that.

      I hope you take a look around and give me some feedback as to how to make this site more effective for you!