Precisely what suffers when we play emotional tug of war with our spouse?
1 – The intimacy that you are working on slides away a bit. Intimacy is that inner connectedness we build in our marriage.
2 – Our individual peace becomes chaos. When we have a disagreement with our wife/husband, we take sides or corners instead of being a united twem.
3 – We become defensive rather than being supportive. Instead of a hug we want to push away and make our point.
4 – The marriage suffers instead of moving to a new ledge of greatness.
Let me give you a real life example: Yes we have our disagreements!
Just today, we had a difference of opinion about our bathroom remodeling project. During the discussion (very mild voice tone BTW) we were given the “opportunity” to discuss a few other life situations. Ever have one of those talks? You see a great opening so you interject something else to feel like you weren’t so bad after all.
It is so easy to get side-tracked from the single problem which is between you.
You have your side of the argument all arranged in your mind and wham! she brings in logic or some other situation.
Certainly you have been there, right? SO what happens for you?
For us, we talked through both situations and felt a bit better, but we will most likely discuss them again with more thoughts on each subject.
For my part, I need to keep my wife informed about what I am doing in the online business and she needs to ask me before volunteering someone else to do a task I can do. She was being sensitive to my time but I did not take it that way. Hurt feelings create misunderstandings.
And that’s the way communications go isn’t it? We both have our ideas and they seem so just fine rattling around in our mind, but when we speak them into existence, they seem to fly a part.
We can get past these times depending on how we respond to the verbal tug of war.
Also, try to address the problem and do not attack each other in the process.
So how do we create a GREAT MARRIAGE?
A great marriage happens one day a t a time so make today the best possible day.
Find ways to encourage your spouse.
Sometimes you might feel like two people pulling in the opposite direction, working against each other and not getting anything done.
However, the reality is that a great marriage is not difficult to figure out.
Life wedges itself between our intimacy. You must focus your efforts to build up each other.
A marriage is fluid. It is not static. It is a “work in progress” for the rest of your life so make it what you two want it to be!
Keep the comments flowing!