The actual answer may surprise you. Put that frying pan down and read on!
Please read this post before you click through to another article. I came across this interesting twist on romance in an article which said “men are more romantic than women”. The emphasis of this article was that men bring the flowers, arrange the dates, etc. I did not appreciate the language in the article or the disdain for each partner, but this idea got me thinking about his basic idea who is the true active romantic in your marriage?.
So wives, when was the last time you “romanced your husband” without any prodding or hinting from him? If you can remember a time you did something you might call romantic, did he perceive it as romantic? Was there some hidden agenda attached? Or did you enter into this activity with his best interest at heart?
Wives sign up between the arrows to receive our weekly tips newsletter
Even like I teach men to be proactive, are you doing activities that he needs and wants to be all that God wants him to be for you?
I am not speaking just about sex, as romance does not equal sex.
Romance may lead to sexual fulfillment but romance can just as easily result in another activity that produces intimacy, which in turn creates productive communication.
Or a true romantic gesture might lead to enjoying a shared activity together.
What does your husband really want and need from you romantically?
Have you asked him what genuine acts of kindness, he would appreciate from you?
His honest answers may surprise you.
How often do you consider his romantic needs and act on your answers?
That’s what you want him to be doing for you, right?
You need him to consider your emotional needs and to show you how much he loves you?
Your husband will most likely want something different than you want when it comes to romance.
Here are a few items that men have suggested they wish their wives did more often:
- Go to a ball game or sports show with him which you made all the arrangements.
- Engage in his favorite hobby enthusiastically. Be his best cheerleader if he plays a sport.
- Do a different activity in the same room with him when he is engaged in something else. (Elaine reads in the living room as I am watching TV. I enjoy being in the same room with my wife even when we are doing different activities.)
- Send him text messages or emails telling him how much you respect and appreciate him as a husband (and father if appropriate). If he coaches anything, watch for specific examples that demonstrate his abilities and then tell him how proud you are of him.
- Give him notes on the mirror or attach post-it notes someplace he will see easily that states that you are glad you married him. He longs to know that you are his friend, not just his lover.
- Ask him what he needs from you to feel more like your hero. Be sure to applaud his solutions to any problem that he corrected.
Romance directed towards your husband will look different from how you want him to be romantic towards you.
He will appreciate any gestures you offer that touch his core needs.
As he must stretch to accommodate your needs, since he is not a woman, you need to stretch to provide his male needs.
You need to be loved and he needs to be desired, respected and appreciated.
Women like to be appreciated and men enjoy being loved, however, we do not need what the other gender needs to strike at our core.
Ask yourself “What it is that my husband needs to be all that God has designed him to be?”
While you are here, sign up for our weekly newsletter! –> –>
Keep encouraging each other as
The Best Is Yet To Be!!! — Jerry