Here is an excerpt from my book:
If she gives you more or less than you asked, DO NOT correct her!
The purpose for this exchange is to show how much you care about her life. Let her show you by her response that she enjoys your interest in her.
To further set the mood, if you know what her beverage of choice is, have it waiting for her when she comes home.
If you arrive after her and you notice that she does not have anything to drink, go get it for her.
Be observant and responsive to her.
Then sit down close to her and ask some of these questions listed here in this section or some others you think would be thoughtful.
This does not need to always be extremely significant times, it can be any time you want to assure her that you heard her clearly.
Be a bit verbal by stating small points back to her such as: “I see”, “Hmmm, that’s interesting..” or “let me get this point you just made…” and be sure to reword it back to her but be careful not to break up her conversation or train of thought too much.
Show interest, certainly do not act as though you are uninterested.
If your wife’s message is causing a strong response in you acknowledge these emotions.
Try to keep them from interfering with your focus on her situation.
Work to understand her perspective on the matter you are talking through.
Empathy means that you are looking at her message with kindness. She needs for you to listen with your emotions in check as mentioned in the last idea.
Work to seek what she is driving at rather than feeling like you have it all figured out quickly.
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