The Two Most Powerful Words A Man Can Say

Bob Grant @relationshipheadquarters.com sent me an email with the following topic:        2 Words No Man Can Resist    

“When I ask women what they think the most powerful words they can say to a man would be, I’m usually given the replies, ‘I love you,’ ‘You’re special’ and ‘Yes, I’ll have sex with you.’ While all of these statements are nice and sometimes very powerful, they won’t necessarily make him bond with you. The two words that cause nearly every man to feel closer to you are these:                     ‘I’M LISTENING.’

Bob’s insights got me to thinking about how a husband can show he is fully engaged in this listening process with his wife?

Here is an excerpt from my  book:

You can show her that you really want to fully hear what she is saying by doing the following:

  • Be active in her life by seeking to find out what her day was like. Ask her, not simply “How was your day?”, but dig a bit deeper in your discussion, “What were three (or some number you want) specific things that happened to you today?”

If she gives you more or less than you asked, DO NOT correct her!

The purpose for this exchange is to show how much you care about her life. Let her show you by her response that she enjoys your interest in her.

To further set the mood, if you know what her beverage of choice is, have it waiting for her when she comes home.

If you arrive after her and you notice that she does not have anything to drink, go get it for her.

Be observant and responsive to her.

Then sit down close to her and ask some of these questions listed here in this section or some others you think would be thoughtful.

  • You can also reflect back to her, after she has expressed something to you, “Ok, so let’s see if I have this right …” then say back to her what you believe she said to you.

This does not need to always be extremely significant times, it can be any time you want to assure her that you heard her clearly.

  • Be present in her conversations. Try to focus on what she is sharing with you.

Be a bit verbal by stating small points back to her such as: “I see”, “Hmmm, that’s interesting..” or “let me get this  point you just made…” and be sure to reword it back to her but be careful not to break up her conversation or train of thought too much.

  •  Listen to the whole thought. If you think she is going on to another subject, be sure you clarify the change in direction.

Show interest, certainly do not act as though you are uninterested.

  • Control your emotions. Keep in mind that you two do not see any situation in the same fashion.

If your wife’s  message is causing a strong response in you acknowledge these emotions.

Try to keep them from interfering with your focus on her situation.

  • Look at the situation through your wife’s eyes.

Work to understand her perspective on the matter you are talking through.

Empathy means that you are looking at her message with kindness. She needs for you to listen with your emotions in check as mentioned in the last idea.

Work to seek what she is driving at rather than feeling like you have it all figured out quickly. 

Check out my author’s page for the book here:

Husbands – Your active listening requires a response,

but not necessarily an opinion.

Keep In Mind — The Best Is Yet To Be!!!  – Jerry

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Jerry is a marriage relationship expert, public speaker, author of several books, blogger, certified marriage coach and marriage mentor. Jerry & Elaine host educational, actionable, & interactive marriage seminars which equip attendees with many "tools" which captivate each other in deeper conversations. Jerry has been married forty three years to the same beautiful woman. They have three children and seven grandchildren. Their greatest passion is assisting married couples to unlock each other's heart through open transparent communication, with their gentle interactive guidance.

Posted in Communication
  • Kim

    This is absolutely terrific advice! I love your note at the end about your listening requiring a response, but not necessarily an opinion. Learning to really listen to our spouses is a skill that will pay huge dividends.

    • Jerry Stumpf

      Thank you for your kind words. I am slow getting back to you. Let me know how you like the new look and how we can help you!